"Oh gosh *sob* oh goodness, thank you, thank you so much. This is so unexpected, we haven’t had time to get our Oscar de la Renta strapless gown out of storage, or air-kiss our fellow nominees, or prepare an acceptance speech *uncrumples notes* or anything…
Allow Us To Gush
The whole cast and crew at Attic Self Storage are choking back tears of gratitude at being awarded this prestigious platinum trophy. We’d just like to thank everyone who believed in us and voted for us and supported us by using our storage facilities. We’re delighted to have been able to bring our vision of enhanced security to CCTV screens in your area.
This is the third year in a row we’ve had the honour of winning a FEEFO award, and it’s so gratifying to know that all our customers trust us so much and give us positive glowing feedback. We couldn’t do what we do without you and we love you all. Even the ones that don’t put their hand towels in the bins provided or accidentally scrape their trolleys along our carefully painted walls. You really are the most brilliant storage customers in the world.
Equality & Diversity
No, wait, don’t clap. We haven’t finished yet. We’d like to point out that the storage business is an amazing industry to be a part of, but we take delight in ignoring Ricky Gervais and using this occasion to make an overtly political statement – with recognition comes responsibility.
Attic Self Storage are proud to pay our staff the Living Wage, delighted to have strong women at the top in our organisation and determined to acknowledge the contribution of people from diverse multicultural backgrounds who have been part of our amazing success story by working with us, working for us or trusting their clutter to us. We accept this award on behalf of all you wonderful humans! We must all stand together to oppose racism, bigotry, misogyny, climate change and the depressing lack of storage space that still seems to plague the lives of honest working people even in 2020.
Thank you, thank you all so much. We hope you have a wonderful evening, and may all your dreams come true.”
And if you thought that was embarrassing, try this: