Things That Go Bump in the Middle of the Week
Half term may have finished, but the horror is far from over for the nation’s parents. Hordes of ravenous sweet-devouring undead zombie school children are set to be roaming the streets in full costume this Wednesday evening as Halloween returns in all its gory.
It seems to get bigger and more Americanised (Americanized, even) every year, but we have a safe space that you can escape to if you need it. Attic Self Storage provides secure storage space for over 18-year olds 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. It’s the perfect bolthole if you’re trying to find a place to escape the forces of darkness and sugar-fuelled consumerism.
Save it ’til All Hallow’s Eve
Then again, if you see the celebration as a necessary evil, Attic Self Storage is also the ideal repository for all your Halloween paraphernalia should you wish to indulge your little monsters without cluttering up your home with pumpkin-flavoured tat for the rest of the year. With our help you can dust away the spider’s webs, box up the costumes, and store the skeletons until the evening you actually need them… then unleash your suitably attired offspring on your poor unsuspecting neighbours. God help them.
If you’re short of blood-thirsty inspiration for what you can stuff inside a coffin and deposit with us, we are pleased to provide you with the following list of fear-inducing items that we are happy to store for you:
A to Z of the kind of spooky things you might find in an Attic this Halloween
- Arachnids (artificial).
- Bats (bouncy) and bottles of blood (fake).
- Clockwork cats (black). Creepy clown costumes. Claws. Candles. Coffins.
- Dracula’s teeth, Death’s skull and Devil’s horns.
- Evil Elves, electronic eyeballs, Elvis outfits.
- Frankenstein face paint. Fangs.
- Garb for ghosts, ghouls, Godzilla. Gowns for Gremlins and Lady Gaga.
- Hockey masks, horrific hats, hangman’s hoods.
- Inca idols and indigenous Indian attire.
- Jack O’lanterns.
- Krakens in cardboard, Knights in armour.
- Light sabres, luminous paint, latex cat-suits.
- Mummies, monster make-up and man-eating megoladon masks.
- Naughty Nun’s habits and Nosferatu’s Nails.
- Orc and Ogre outfits.
- Plastic pumpkins. Pandora’s box.
- Queen Anne Boleyn’s head.
- Rooks, Ravens and rats (rubber, not real).
- Skeletons, skulls, slasher gloves, scissor hands and scythes smeared with stage blood.
- Terrifying trolls, tarantulas and ‘trick or treat’ signs.
- Underwear for the undead.
- Vestments for vampires.
- Wardrobe for witches and werewolves. Wicker man effigies.
- X-ray outfits and X-rated makeup effects.
- Your worst fears and nightmares in a vacuum-sealed bag.
- Zombie flesh-eating trousers.
A reassuring rhyme from Attic Self Storage
Have no fear.
We are here.
To protect your bits from the Bogeyman all through the year.
More space than Loch Ness.
With 24 hour access.
No entry for monsters or madmen with axes.
Attic’s the place
To keep your stuff safe
From the living, undead & spooks with no face.
Yes, indeed, that was a suitably horrific poem for Halloween.
We’re also pleased to let you know that we still have bowls of delicious sweeties on our reception desk at both our Bow and King’s Cross branches. Come and ruin your teeth whenever you want. Our treat!